How I Connected to Just Walk on By

Honestly, I feel very grateful that I am able to go to a school like Troy High. Troy High is a place where I can talk about going to morning pujas, wearing heavy (yet gorgeous) Indian dresses, and even come to school wearing cultural attire without being stared at or judged to much. I have a wide array of friends who go through similar experiences as I do and a large number of friends who don't who still respect my culture and experiences. The number of times I feel like an oddball at Troy High because of my race or gender are far and between. However this isn't the case wherever I go. In fact, some of the times where I feel the most judged and left out are on my visits to India.

Now I know what you're thinking, aren't you Indian? And the answer to that question is yes, I am very Indian. Yet I feel the most out of place when I go to India. From my inability to speak perfect Bengali to my apparently unique way of eating food, my extended family loves to joke about me being an ABCD (American Born Confused Desi). It's all in fun and games as they all know that in actuality I am very in touch with my roots, and with family I always feel welcome and loved. However in other situations, this is not always the case. I can catch the warrying looks strangers give when I reply to my parents in English and not Bengali , or why my outfit is different from those of the other girls my age. More often then not, shop owners ask us where we are from even though it is none of their business. And as soon as they realize that I have grown up in America I can see in their expressions their thoughts of, "Oh, she's American", which is kind of like saying "Oh, she's white washed." They automatically think that I am ignorant about Indian culture. The more times I have gone to India, the easier it has been to get past these feeling of left out, but I find it amusing that in India I can feel like an outsider for growing up in America, and in America I can feel like and outsider for being India,